Sigh, apparently so… and in lieu of the current events, I couldn’t have discovered it at a better time. A few weeks ago, I was turned down a job because of my blog’s content. “Well, you should have seen that coming!” Okay dickhead, why don’t you hear me out? Thanks (winky face).
Here’s the deal:
I work in entertainment (no biggie). Jobs come and go. My boss said that ours was about to go, and advised me to find a new work; he then jetted out the door, hopped on a plane, and took off to another country.
My brain sputtered as I tried to comprehend this unusual situation, but the grim reality eventually came crashing down: I was jobless, and had absolutely no leads on any means of cash flow. How in the world would I afford uncuttable costs like food, rent, finger painting classes, student loans, etc.?
I had to do something. I had to man up. So, with a stack of resumes in my hand, I stormed into the TV department of a well-known studio, walked up to a group of important-looking people, and asked for a job.
They laughed, but admired my audacity, as well as my charm (of course), and said to come in for an interview the following week. “That actually worked?! Oh goodie!!!” I thought to myself as I did gay little dance of excitement in my head. On the outside, though, I remained a statue of composure, and agreed to the interview.
Before leaving, I thanked them for their time, and apologized for the inconvenience, because I am one polite son of a bitch. The gutsy move has forever changed me, i.e. my balls grew three sizes that day. Fast forward to:
The interview—group interview—nailed it. Everyone loved me. Who wouldn’t? Who couldn’t? You shouldn’t. I had it the bag.
I didn’t have it in the bag. They later read Dan Ray Sucks. They didn’t like Dan Ray Sucks. That doesn’t bother me: it’s not for everyone. What bothers me is why they didn’t like it.
Of all that this blog is (immature, foul, funny, disturbing, graphic, hilarious, insensible, shameful, genius, etc.), they dipped outside of the vast pool, and denied me a job on the basis that my blog is racist; a bit racist, to be more specific. I’m not sure how something (or someone) can be just a bit racist; maybe I’m unaware of some tier system involving varying degrees of prejudice. I don’t know. That’s beside the point: Deeming my blog racist indirectly accuses me of being a bigot.
That’s offensive as hell. Come to think, it also offends me that someone would be offended by a website dedicated to offending myself! To ice the cake, with all the thought, hard work, and emotion (yeah, I have some of those) that goes into these writings, it’s disheartening to know how easily I can be belittled when someone read something the wrong way.
Well, this could have been my big chance, but I’m probably better off not working somewhere that’s too righteous/politically correct to take jokes. Maybe what I should do is just embrace this newly discovered side of me; after all, we are (a bit) what others think we are. This is why Dan Ray…cist Sucks, and if your comedy writing is holding you back from writing comedy, then you suck, too.
Tips to suck less:
-Leave a comment.
-fb/tweet/just tell your friends, friends’ friends, random bums–I don’t care, just do it.
-Finally, I’m not racist, but I don’t have to tell you that.